...just trying to chase lions

A little story of this past season of my life:

I am on a dirt road with thick woods to both sides of me. The trees are huge evergreens that make me stretch my neck out as far as I can to see the sky above them. I am afraid of wild animals and prickly bushes, so for the most part I have no problem staying on the dirt road where it's safe to me. To my right is my Father...my Dad...Papa...the one who knows what is absolutely best for me...whose ways and thoughts are higher than I can even imagine to think of on my own. We walk and talk and hang out, kicking rocks as we stroll along. I find myself hanging on to every word that comes out of his mouth because I admire him so much--I can't help but want to be like him. As he speaks I feel so alive...it's a feeling, a wholeness, I have never been able to find anywhere else but in His presence.
He continues to speak, but I tune him out for a moment as something catches my eye; it's a fork in the road just ahead...it's so close I could run to it! And then I do exactly that: I take off running, forgetting the wonderful conversation I was completely submerged in just a moment before, and sprint to the fork in the road. "But what next?" I find myself thinking as I stand looking out at the two roads. I've had the best of the best up to this point on the path, but I don't know which way is best now. I quickly realize that the only reason I've known the best roads to take up to this point is because I walked w/ my Dad and He nodded in each direction to take, and on some occasions just telling me that either way is great, just pick and go! But not this time, I felt an uneasiness in the decision. All of the sudden I am anxious, nervous, stressed out and just want to know what I'm supposed to do! I sense that there is a particular road that my Father would choose to be best for me, but I just can't figure out what it is. I turn back and see Him walking towards me...He's just strolling along at the same pace he was before I took off sprinting.
With my head held low I turn and walk back to where He is just thinking to myself "duh, Emily...how many times does it take for you to get this concept?" But Dad doesnt' allow my head to hang low for long. He grabs my chin and lifts it up to His face and tells me that He loves me. The anxiety and stress I was feeling quickly disappeared...I feel whole and complete again. We chatted about why I ran ahead of him, what I was thinking, what I was fearing, and how my head and heart were feeling, then all of a sudden we were up at the fork in the road--this time I was not alone. I looked up and asked for some of His wisdom. He hasn't been nodding a particular way to me lately, but rather teaching me how to see as He sees, and to use the wisdom and discernement I beg for in making the decisions that affect my life.
For some reason I still sprint to the next decision to be made, then find myself stressed and anxious about what to do. I'm waiting for my Father to simply grab the back of my shirt as I try to run ahead, but he never does seem to stop me...he just lets me go. I guess he knows that I will eventually stop and realize that I can't do it anywhere near as good as Him.
I have learned that He knows best...and not in a prideful way, but in a way that He is so passionate about His daughter knowing what is best, and understanding what matters most, and doing whatever it takes to get the point across. I trust Him. He has proved himself time and again to think of things so much bigger and grander than my mind would have ever come up with. I am very mediocre...really, I just am. But my Dad has a love for His daughter that is so passionate that mediocre just won't do--He shows me greatness and glory. He shows me eternal things when I focus on earthly things.

So with all of that said, I'm coming up to a fork in the road...and trying my hardest to pay attention to the conversation my Dad's trying to have with me...but yet again, my heart is racing and I want to run up to the division to see what it looks like and check things out for myself...

Posted in: on Tuesday, April 14, 2009 at at 8:10 PM 1 comments  

It's true--I know exactly how many days until I walk across the stage at the Georgia Mountain Center and receive my Bachelors of Science in Nursing diploma: 56!!! This journey to be a nurse began in November of 2005, and will come to completion in less than two months...thank you Lord! This semester has been somewhat surreal; a race to the finish if you will. I notice each day I am in class all the stress and burnout the majority of my fellow students feel, but in all honesty, I'm not one of them. I love what I get to do. I love pursuing this degree to do what God has called me to do and given me an immeasurable passion for. I know with 100% certainty that I would not have made it through even the first year of nursing school if it was not for the passion and purpose God placed in my heart for this adventure. Now, I'm not going to say that I don't get a little irrational and stressed out at times too, but it is nothing to the degree which I used to get stressed out and overwhelmed in the first year at Brenau.

I look back on this past year and simply can't believe how different my life is right now than it was just 12 months ago. This time last year I was still working at Starbucks, freaking out about Med/Surg I and Pharmacology, and simply lost in so many ways. God was digging as deep in me as He possibly could to bring about some major healing that I didn't even know I needed. By July He had done a huge work in me and I can't put it any other way than that I am a new person. I know who I am. I know how to be loved. I am worthy of the best love. The greatest of it all, as related to school, is that I don't stress out nearly as much, but I get much more done than when I used to overly stress. That release allowed me to be open to more relationships and to just do more with my time.

Almost immediately after this "deep dig" through my soul (that's what I like to call it), I met this guy who grabbed my attention. I dismissed him pretty quickly seeing that he was younger than me...and well, I just don't date younger guys. But needless to say there was just something about him I couldn't get past, and long story short, it's been a wonderful 6 months. I have learned so much relationally and have grown as a person in ways I could never do on my own. We (Alex and I) spent a week in Colorado with our friends Matt & Rocio last week:

Matt & Rocio

Me & Alex

That trip was phenomenal and rejuvenated me to sprint to the finish line at school. I begin my Senior Preceptorship at Scottish Rite in the Children's Inpatient Rehab Unit tomorrow. I'm excited about it, and nervous of course, but it is a different area of nursing that I will probably never be a part of in the future, so it will be a great learning experience.

My biggest prayer request right now is about finding a job after I graduate. For some reason I have a huge desire to work at Piedmont Hospital in Atlanta. I've found a love for Cardiac and hope to get placed in an RN Residency on either a Telemetry Med/Surg Unit or in a more acute cardiac unit. In applying for the RN Residency you have to put your top 3 unit preferences, and I would be happy to work on any of my top 3: Cardiac, Mother/Baby, or Intermediate Care. I continue to seek direction for where God would have me go. He knows what's best for me and I love when I get His best...it's always something I would have never come up with on my own.

Well, needless to say this has been another rambling from the tips of my fingers...

I just can't help but sit back and reflect on this past year and look forward to the unknown of this next season of my life.

Peace.

Posted in: on Friday, March 13, 2009 at at 8:23 AM 0 comments  

I've been home about a week and can now finally process the trip. So much happened in such a short time that when people asked "So how was it?!" I simply didn't know how to answer. My team's blog was updated each night, so if you didn't get a chance to follow that, here's the link: http://weliberia.blogspot.com/

The first couple of days were without a doubt a culture shock to me. It took us about 2 days to figure out why we kept hearing people yell "wymo!"..."wymo"="white man". haha. It was a big struggle to be stared at everywhere we went. All I wanted was to blend in and build relationships, but that just wasn't going to happen. It was the strangest feeling having people yell at you and wave at you as if they knew you or you were some kind of celebrity.

The second biggest struggle when I got there was that I simply didn't feel safe. I was scared and absolutely hated feeling that way. Why couldn't I just walk the streets, mingle with the people, and shop around the redlight district? There were two times I found myself alone or with Belynn and no one else, and immediately we were surrounded by a crowd of people. As the days went by, it got better. That was my prayer each morning--that I would not have fear. The truth is, though, that I needed that bit of fear to keep me in line and to not go off on my own. Those who know me well know that I'm "little miss independent" and don't like to have my hand held in order to get something done. I like to go and go quickly! For the entirety of the trip I had to wait on someone--the theme became "hurry up and wait!". That's Liberia...a lot of waiting.

After the culture shock began to fade I began to see and feel the hearts of the people. The only way I can describe the feeling I got in many parts of Monrovia was darkness. With bullet holes scattered across every other building and bridge crossing I couldn't help but remember what these people have been through. Then the realization hit me that I'm walking side by side with some of the rebels who murdered countless people, tortured them and took their children. Not only did they take their children, but they placed guns in their hands, taught them to murder and on top of all that they forced drugs on them so that even to this day they are battling the ugliest of addictions and fighting for a new life.

The amazing picture of new life and restoration for me came in a man named Dixon. Dixon lived at the compound we stated at. He's 21 years old and will be graduating high school this year. He was one of the kids forced into the rebel army and made to take drugs or be killed. He fought for a new life, and after writing a letter to Christine Norman pleading for help and an education, he got what he had only dreamed of. She took him in her home, gave him a job and paid for his schooling. He is living his life for Christ and showed me what the hope for Liberia is--the hope for Liberia is the younger generation whose hearts are for God. It all comes down to the heart, and their is a great need for heart-healing in every person in that nation.

So, I've spent a couple of hours just writing the above paragraph. I cannot put into words what this trip was like and what it did in me, especially in a blog...I think I could write a book. But to
give just a little summary of some of my highlights, I'll tell stories in pictures:

This is Diana Davies. She founded and runs the Diana Davies Orphanage. I've never met a person that I have desired to say "God Bless You" to more than her. She is raising 35 kids whose parents were killed in the war as her own. These kids are so well behaved and are receiving an amazing well-rounded education including the arts.

This little man will be "the one" I remember for the rest of my life. He has a huge vision for his life and fully understands that with God, all things are possible. His name is James, but on the trip we called him "Kevin Queen Jr." KQ is one of the pastors at my church, and if we didn't know better we'd think he had visited Liberia about 11 years ago. James' smile alone will melt your heart, but his love for all of his "brothers and sisters" at Diana Davies captured me. He is a young servant and I hope that someday I'll get to meet him again as a man.

You may have noticed this in the picture above, but I got my hair did! The teenage girls at Diana Davies had a blast with my "white girl hair". All I could do to keep myself in my seat was clench my teeth and try to make as few "this is killing me!" faces as I could...man, it hurt! I got laughed at a lot for being so sensitive ...apparently I'm not a real Liberian girl afterall :(

On Saturday I got to spend the day with some friends I met randomly through Facebook who work with an organization called Orphan Relief and Rescue. The healthcare coordinator, Debbie Dezutter, called me over to look at some of the kids' feet. There is an insect that lives in the dirt and sand that gets underneath your toenails and skin and lays eggs. The only way to get rid of it is to dig the eggs out. We washed several of the infected feet, but there was little we could do beyond encouraging them to wash their feet with soap and water daily and to help the kids keep their "slippers" on at all times.

Later that day, Stacey and I, along with Andrew from ORR, helped make pipes for toilets. I have never felt so handy in my life. Using dirt from termite mounds we made clay and molded the piping. After the clay was molded we cut it in half and poured cement over them. Once they dry the clay will be knocked out leaving the two halves of the pipe to be put back together...and then you've got plumbing! Check out ORR: http://www.sharingonline.org/orphan-relief/blog/




This was by far the most random day. We drove 3 1/2 hours to Blue Lake so that we could go swimming and baptize Alam. Alam is a former muslim who is now a Christ Follower. She had never been baptized, so her husband asked Pastor Miles if he would do the honor. When we finally arrived at BlueLake we were greeted by the United Nations Military refusing us entry. The first guard was Nigerian and he was very nice, but firm with his answer of "no" because we could not reach his boss. Then along came a guard from Pakistan. This guard immediately welcomed us in to swim with him and his friends. The Nigerian guard again said "no", so the Pakistan guard began to go up the ladder in command of the UN military to ask for permission for his "friends" to come in and go swimming with him. After about an hour of playing soccer and waiting, we were granted entry. Baptizing Alam was the primary reason we were there, so we did that first--Miles baptized a former Muslim in the name of Jesus Christ in front of a handful of Muslims from Pakistan...and they all applauded her baptism. That's a day I'll not soon forget.



Then there's just the wonderful feeling of sweating non-stop every moment of the day for 10 days.




"Why do girls look so different without make-up?"
-Jose Quinones

Posted in: on Thursday, January 15, 2009 at at 7:19 AM 4 comments  

This is it. I leave for Liberia in 5 days. This Saturday at 5pm EST I will be on a plane headed across the Atlantic Ocean fulfilling a calling that was placed on my life nearly 2 1/2 years ago. Many of you know that my prayer life used to be "okay, Lord, I'll do anything and go anywhere...except for Africa." I'm so thankful He intervened and helped me get out of my own way to see plans for my life that I love the best, but in my head I thought I would hate. How boring and uneventful I feel my life would be had He not intervened and helped me to get over the mind set that I knew what was best for my life.

Since school has been out I have began to re-read IN A PIT WITH A LION ON A SNOWY DAY for the 3rd time. You could say I like the book ;-) These are just a few things that have jumped out to me this time around:

"I'm concerned that the church that has turned into a bunker where we seek shelter when we're actually called to storm the gates of hell."

"The alternative to fear is boredom."

"Our biggest problems can be traced back to an inadequate understanding of who God is."

"[Jesus] didn't try to avoid situations where the odds were against him. Lion chasers know God is bigger and more powerful than any problem they face in this world. They thrive in the toughest circumstances because they know that impossible odds set the stage for amazing miracles. That is how God reveals his glory--and how He blesses you in ways you never could have imagined."

"So why do we assume that what we pray for is always what's best for us? If we could see what God sees, we would pray very different prayers."

And lastly..."Many of our prayers are misguided. We pray for comfort instead of character. We pray for an easy way out instead of the strength to make it through. We pray for no pain, when the result would be no gain. We pray that God will keep us out of pits and away from lions. But if God answered our prayers, it would rob us of our greatest opportunities."

I want to be a "lion chaser" of sorts. Not with real lions, of course, but in life in general. I want to tackle impossible odds and life a life worth telling stories about as I age.

Keep up with my team's blog here: http://weliberia.blogspot.com/

And also, a final prayer request: we have just found out that one of my teammates, Matt Elsberry, will be leading a Crown Financial teaching day to the Minister of Finance of Liberia along with a few other of the nation's leaders. We have seen this lady in documentaries of the current President and Liberian Government, and now we get to serve her and share Godly financial principles so that the nation may thrive! Crazy big, huh?

I am excited to write when I get back and share the stories I can only imagine await for me.

Peace.

Posted in: on Monday, December 22, 2008 at at 11:50 AM 0 comments  

(...Just because I love pictures!)




That's right...17 days and I will be on a plane to Liberia! With life starting to slow down as finals are coming to an end, this trip is becoming more and more real. My heart gets a little...hmmm...I really don't even know how to describe it--antsy? nervous? anxious? excited? I think those words all combined describes the little jump in my heart that happens when I truly think about being on Liberian ground. I don't really know what to expect...it's the unknown that makes my mind and heart a mess, but a good mess :)

God has provided every step of this trip thus far, and with these final weeks rapidly approaching the only thing lacking is the remaining funds. I personally have $1,273 left to raise to fulfill my financial commitment. As a whole our team has raised about 70% of our total costs with the remaining 30% being about $15,000. We need this raised by Dec. 19th! Jehova Jirah--my Provider. I really don't have big doubts about this being accomplished. We've seen God come through in crazy (to me, not God) big ways thus far; to doubt now just seems kind of silly when I think about it.

If you're interested in contributing to this mission, please feel free to do so ;-)
Make checks payable to:
12Stone Church
memo: Emily Liberia
Mail to:
12Stone Church
Attn: Stacey Belflower
1322 Buford Dr.
Lawrenceville, GA 30043

I'll leave you with some pictures of the cutest little man in the world...my nephew, of course!

~Merry Christmas~

*And one with the little man wide awake*

Posted in: on Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at at 12:12 PM 0 comments  

I've got to start off by saying thank you to everyone who came to the Awareness Event and made it such a success! Here are a couple of pictures, but if you want to check out more go to my team's blog page: http://weliberia.blogspot.com




And if you want to check out the video the team put together for the event you can check it out on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uwWlFHhB2o

The evening was great and we had a wonderful turnout. Rodney Edwards was able to give a wonderful picture of Liberia to all of us who have never been there, and Dave Bearchell brought the evening all together with our vision...with God's vision...for Water's Edge Ministry in Liberia. Based on the feedback I've gotten from several people who attended the event, God did what we knew He would and people's hearts were pressed for Liberia. It's not a simple matter of just Liberia, but God transforming hearts to see the world, and love the people in the world, as He does. My biggest prayer daily is that God would give me eyes to see as He sees, and a heart to love others as He loves them-"break my heart for what breaks Yours", Lord!

I have recently been going through the book of Romans, and just the other day I read the verse that marks my mission for going to Liberia.

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

The people of Liberia lack hope. I'm sure I would too if I lived through what they have had to battle. But as we go, we pray that we will overflow with hope so that it may pour onto them. That they may know the mighty God we serve and then they will overflow with hope to everyone around them...We are going!

Last Saturday we spent a 12 hour day building a cinder block shed around a generator, so that we can know how to do it once we get to Liberia. Let's just say it took a lot longer than we had originally thought! I think we got better at it as the day went on, so hopefully once we're in Africa we'll be more efficient w/ the building process :-O Here are a couple of pics from the day:

















So that's just a little update on where we are right now. We leave in one month and one day!!! Happy Thanksgiving everyone :-D

Posted in: on Wednesday, November 26, 2008 at at 7:57 AM 0 comments  

Well, Nursing School officially took over my life last week, but I'm back! And first and foremost, I'd like to introduce you to the most handsome little man in the world: my nephew, Liam Elijah Kirk. I didn't know I'd be so joyous over this child, but I love him to death and can't wait for him to come home! He is in the NICU at Gwinnett Medical Center, but doing amazing and we think he should be home within a week.

The Awareness Event is Tuesday night, November 18th @ 7pm...6 days away! I would love for you to come and share in the vision. If you have ever had a thought of doing missions, this is an excellent opportunity for you to learn about what we're doing and to see if the next Liberia trip is for you! We will be serving some delicious Liberian foods as well as other appetizers and desserts, and you will get to hear from a missionary who has been active in Liberia over the past few years. Christine Norman, the late President Tolbert's daughter, has also prepared a personal video message that will be presented to us that night. Come and meet my team. Come find out why I'm so crazy about this trip to Liberia!

Well...back to catching up on life:)

Posted in: on Wednesday, November 12, 2008 at at 9:22 AM 1 comments